Saturday, January 20, 2007
An Update On Drama Queen
So much has happened since I last gave an official update on my oldest daughter who is due to give birth this spring to a baby girl. DQ is doing well and looking well. We have been on quite the roller coaster ride the last couple of months. She moved to a maternity home in another state to remove herself from her triggers and try to put her life together. She decided she was going to place her daughter for adoption. She wants the very best for her child. DQ was told before she moved to this state that if she chose adoption, the father's signature on the paperwork is not necessary. We knew he would fight it, because in his mind you keep your children whether you are fit to raise them or not (and we know what happened when he had custody of my grandson). So this was good news for my daughter.
In November, DQ was told a blood test indicated the baby most likely had a chromosomal disorder called Trisomy 18. This is fatal over 90% within the first year of life. We were devastated. So the wait began for the amniocentesis and results from that test which are more accurate and could tell us for sure whether the baby had this disorder. We were told the baby had only a 4% chance to NOT have this disorder. Well, after waiting over two weeks and making it through Christmas, we finally called the clinic to discover the test was negative. Supposedly everything is fine. We are hesitantly relieved. Not totally convinced and scared to death they will retract their findings at any time.
We are now into January and the due date is creeping up. DQ chose a young couple that she pretty much fell in love with to adopt her baby. The next step would be for her to actually meet them, etc. She informed the director of her choice only to be told that that folder was put in the stack by mistake and that the couple had not completed the process yet. They would not be ready by birth to adopt. (too many hoops and redtape to jump through). DQ was devastated again! There were supposedly only about 9 couples who wanted a bi-racial baby and the others she was not happy with at all for various reasons (remember, we know what we are doing in this area). I couldn't believe there were only 9 couples. I know of three in my own neighborhood who want to adopt that little girl now, but they can't because DQ would lose her support system in the other state. We had this problem with another agency years ago and since then when adoption was involved in any manner with any person we knew, it was private. No agencies. Anyway... this whole paragraph is a moot point due to the fact their lawyer had to be fired for LYING! The father DOES have to sign papers for adoption!
So... DQ is in a situation where she must grow up, stay straight, and raise her daughter. She was so upset and so frightened at first. So much has been thrown at her in the last two and a half months her head is spinning. She has stayed strong. I'm very proud of her. I'm afraid I would have gone ballistic on someone at this point. Everything is working out the way it is supposed to be. Here it is in nutshell ... at least today.
DQ will deliver in the spring. The maternity home has a home for her and the baby to live in on/near the compound where she lives now. Hopefully, she will work there while she continues school and gets her degree. There is a couple who are giving her every baby item she could possibly need because they have just found out they cannot have children. How generous is that? How difficult for them. DQ will return the items or we will store them because I have a feeling God will bless them with a child from somewhere after their generosity.
My daughter is receiving so much help, friendship, support, and love from the people she has met in Arkansas. She has even met one of Dweeb's cousins he didn't know he had! How about that! It is truly a blessing she found this support system. I miss her and am looking forward to driving down there to see her.